Moments of Near Perfection
by Mac1
Summary: We look for perfection, but rarely do we find it.


Disclaimer: CSI is the property of Jerry Bruckheimer, CBS, et al.  
  
Author's note: I forgot to thank my excellent betas, Angie and Allison, for the work they did on "Raining on the Inside." They also provided their skills for this story.  
  
Moments of Near Perfection  
  
The dark, early morning sky grew lighter. They sat upon a flat rock saying nothing; just enjoying the silence that came so easily. There was no need to say a word or make a move. The breeze tousled his short curly hair and rustled the paper in his hand. His companion turned to look at him and smiled to herself. She brushed her bangs out of her eyes and sighed softly. This was how it was meant to be; just two people with no worries about the world around them enjoying a beautifully colored sun rise. The only thing that would make it perfect would be if he had left the crossword puzzle behind.  
  
- - -  
  
Sounds from outside the office intruded upon his solitude. Nick and Warrick were making bets about who was going to solve their case first. Catherine and Sara were still working a crime scene. His cell phone rang, interrupting the progress he was trying to make on the paperwork before him. She called to let him know that she was on her way back. He just listened to her voice as she shared her thoughts about the crime. She knew she would have to brief him on their findings when they arrived when he didn't answer a question immediately. He was enjoying the moment of near perfection.  
  
- - -  
  
They sat in comfortable silence, each doing their own thing. She was missing her daughter as she talked to her on the telephone. He concentrated on the science section of the paper, pretending not to listen to the conversation in front of him. He moved to hold her as she hung up and sighed. They hadn't said much in the past few weeks that wasn't work related, but then nothing needed to be said. She laid her head against his chest and just listened to his heartbeat. The silence was comforting to both of them, but it wasn't perfection.  
  
- - -  
  
The morning light shone into her living room. He watched her face as she slept on the couch. Hoping to avoid waking her up, he slowly pushed himself into a standing position from the floor. She shifted in her sleep and mumbled something incomprehensible causing him to stop in mid step. When she settled back down, he slowly exited the house like a man on a secret mission.  
  
She woke up to an empty room. This wasn't unusual, but today they had a rarity to look forward to- both had part of the weekend off at the same time. She looked around seeking some evidence that he would be back soon. As she entered the kitchen, the front door opened.  
  
"Hey, you," she said hoping to surprise her visitor. He didn't say anything but looked at her intently as he set down a black duffel bag. He had been hoping to get back before she woke up.  
  
"Good morning. I, uh, I went to get breakfast," he explained. She looked at him quizzically until he held up two small paper bags. "When did you wake up?"  
  
"Just a few minutes ago. I missed your snoring," she teased as he handed her one of the bags.  
  
"I don't snore." She gave him her 'you have-got-to-be-kidding-me' look. "Okay, maybe I do sometimes."  
  
She smiled triumphantly and opened the bag, "So what have we got for breakfast?"  
  
They laid out the food he brought and ate in companionable silence. As she gathered the trash from their breakfast, he moved to the living room and opened the paper to the crossword puzzle. She joined him on the couch to read the front section, occasionally glancing at him as he puzzled over the clues. The silence stretched between them encompassing the entire house. Finally she couldn't handle the silence any more. She threw her paper onto the coffee table, "Okay, that's it!"  
  
Her exclamation startled him from the puzzle he was working on. He lowered the puzzle to his lap and looked at her. "What?"  
  
"Gil, we have the day off. The first full day off together, and we're sitting here like an old married couple. Let's do something, I don't know- fun, unusual- that means no museums." Catherine looked at him expectantly. Sometime during the years that they had been friends something changed between them. They both knew it, but neither wanted to jeopardize the deep friendship they shared by acting on it. Instead they continued to spend their normal time together; although, lately he had taken to following her home to unwind on her couch. Over the last month he began to keep an overnight bag in his Tahoe for when he fell asleep on either the couch or the floor at her place.  
  
"Something unusual? I thought museums qualified as unusual here," he teased. He caught the small pillow that Catherine threw at him and smiled. He glanced at the sections of the paper that was strewn about the floor. "How about we go to a race?"  
  
"A race?" Catherine looked at him for a moment before realizing that their day off coincided with the Las Vegas Stampede. "No! Grissom, no! It'll be crowded with tourists and..." Grissom just smiled as she continued to list reasons why they shouldn't go.  
  
When she finished, he replied, "You said no museums."  
  
"Let me amend that. No bug or science exhibits. This is a day off, a day of relaxation." She paused trying to come up with a good excuse to avoid anything related to their work. "Besides, the last exhibit we went to gave me nightmares for two weeks."  
  
Grissom laughed as her eyes told him she was teasing him. "Okay, how about something dull and unexciting, like an art exhibit."  
  
"Sounds like fun. I'll go change." Catherine stood up from the couch and headed toward her bedroom. The pillow that she had thrown at Grissom hit her square in the back. She turned around and glared at him before shutting the door to the room as his laughter filled the house.  
  
* * *  
  
The soft strains of Chopin filled the silence between them as they drove to the Gallery of Fine Art. Grissom filled her in on what the exhibit was. It was something different so she couldn't complain much, but part of her was hoping for a normal art exhibit- something that didn't really require knowledge of the time period.  
  
Keeping her eyes on the traffic, she asked if he wanted to eat out. When he didn't answer her, she looked at him. He was looking out the window, staring off into space. This wasn't the first time something like this had happened, but it worried her just the same. Parking the car, she touched Grissom's arm. When he looked at her, she repeated her question.  
  
"Yeah, that's a good idea." Grissom got out of the car and met her as she climbed out. Offering her his arm they walked into the Gallery. They spent the next two hours walking from display to display. Catherine had never seen the famed Faberge eggs in person; the closest she had come was in books or at the movies. Grissom displayed a rare moment of enthusiasm as he explained the history of some of the pieces they saw. There were a few things that neither could explain as they traveled out of the exhibit on Imperial Russia and came across some of the modern art displays. They had relaxed completely and were making jokes about the last modern art piece they saw as the doors to the Gallery closed behind them.  
  
"So, where do you want to eat?" Gil asked, trying to become serious again and failing when he looked at his companion. Smiling and laughing was becoming easier for him of late. He didn't know if it was finally telling someone about the grief he still carried, or if it was the company he'd been keeping.  
  
"I don't know." Catherine looked at him. He had loosened up a lot, but he was hiding something. He still hid behind a mask of professionalism when they were at work, but it wasn't as severe as before. "How about Denny's."  
  
"You really are getting into this 'day of relaxation' thing, aren't you?" he teased.  
  
"Got a problem with that, Bugman?"  
  
"Me? Why would I have a problem with it?" He smiled and held the driver side door open as she got in. She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and looked at him. Today was the most relaxed that he'd been in months. He shut her door and got in on his side.  
  
The ride to the restaurant was quiet. Both were lost in their own world as they thought about the day. Tomorrow life would be back to normal; Lindsey would be home from Eddie's and they would go into work once again. She pulled into the parking lot and stopped the car. Grissom looked at her and for a moment she saw something that she rarely associated with him. For that brief moment she saw indecision and sadness cloud his eyes.  
  
After they were seated, she studied him as he perused the menu. Despite all the years that they had known each other, she knew only a few of things that lay below his public surface. He caught her staring at him. She smiled then stared into her menu. After they placed their orders, she began to study him again as he stared out the window of the restaurant.  
  
"I'm losing my hearing." Catherine almost didn't hear the softly spoken words. She was stunned that he volunteered the information before she asked what was on his mind. What hit her harder though, was the way he said it. Like it was some dire sentence given to a man that had done nothing except live his life as it was given him.  
  
The simple statement explained the look in his eyes earlier and answered the problem that was worrying her. He had been more reclusive than normal, but now it made perfect sense. He was trying to minimize the number of interactions that could start any number of queries into his privacy.  
  
He looked at her when she didn't answer after a while. He saw the shock fade into understanding as his words sunk in. Catherine was always the one who said he needed to share more often. But he knew that "sharing" was not his strong point, especially when it concerned something personal. "Cath?"  
  
"Do the doc..." Catherine's question trailed off as he shook his head in the negative.  
  
"They don't know when it'll go completely." Grissom watched as Catherine stood up then sat down beside him in the booth. He felt her arms wrap around him and her head lay upon his shoulder. He moved to place an arm around her waist and they sat quietly drinking in the security they felt when they were alone together.  
  
"We'll figure something out. We always do."  
  
"Yeah, I know. Catherine?"  
  
"Hmmm."  
  
"Thanks." Catherine lifted her head and looked at her friend. Reading the unasked question he continued, "For being a friend."  
  
"Always." She paused trying to come up with the words to take them back to being relaxed, but none came. "Gil, I was thinking."  
  
"You were thinking? I thought this was a day to relax?" He said teasingly. He knew that by sharing his diagnosis with her the vacation- like air to the day was gone and he wanted to bring it back.  
  
She smiled at his attempt to lighten the mood. "Just this one serious thing, then I'll stop. I want us to promise each other one thing." Gil looked at her waiting for her to continue. He thought he knew where she was going, but he wanted to be sure before agreeing. "I want to keep things open between us. I'm not saying that you have to tell me everything that happens when we're working, but any personal stuff."  
  
"I get the idea, Cath." She really must be nervous about this. Normally she wouldn't babble on like that, he thought. He summed up what she was saying as a form of agreement, "No more secrets between us, unless the job requires it."  
  
She nodded her head as the waitress finally arrived with their food. They ate and talked about little things. By the time the check arrived they had loosened up and were joking around.  
  
"I don't think I've ever seen you this relaxed before."  
  
"I never really had a reason to. I've always thought I would be the best if I didn't let my personal life get in the way."  
  
"So what changed?"  
  
"I'm not sure. It just sort of happened one night."  
  
"About the time you started coming over to unwind on my couch instead of the other way around?"  
  
"Yeah. You don't mind that I do, do you?"  
  
"You would have known if I minded by now, Gil."  
  
"So, now that we're being dreadfully serious again, what are the plans for the next," Grissom consulted his watch, "ten hours?"  
  
"I don't know. Lindsey won't be home until tomorrow morning and we work that evening."  
  
"No, I work that evening. You spend time with Lindsey." His stare told her that the subject was closed to debate.  
  
"Are you sure?" she asked partly ignoring the stare.  
  
"Yeah. I'll call you in if we need an extra hand or two."  
  
"Okay. Come on let's get out of here." Despite Grissom's protests Catherine paid for their lunch. They just got in the car when the rest of the team showed up. Grissom was positive that they would be recognized. Not that he didn't want to be seen with Catherine; he just didn't want to answer the personal questions that were bound to come up. Catherine placed a hand on his leg, "Looks like we left just in time."  
  
Grissom relaxed as he realized that she understood why he didn't want the others to know yet. "Yeah. Let's not push our luck and get out of here."  
  
Catherine laughed as she started the car up and pulled out.  
  
* * *  
  
"Hey, guys. Did that couple look familiar to you?" Nick asked as they sat down.  
  
"What couple?" Warrick asked as he glanced over the menu.  
  
"The one leaving when we parked."  
  
"Yeah, they did. I'm not sure why they were familiar though," Sara replied looking up from the menu. She thought she recognized the man as their boss, but he had kept his face turned toward his companion. The three friends turned their attention to satisfying their appetites. They would solve the mysterious couple mystery if nothing came up during the shift.  
  
* * *  
  
Neither Catherine nor Grissom wanted to go back to the house. They headed out to the desert enjoying the silence. The afternoon passed quickly as they talked about nothing and everything.  
  
"We should think about heading back to civilization soon." Grissom looked at her before it clicked. She wanted to be home for Lindsey's call. He stood up and turned to help her up.  
  
She looked at him silhouetted against the desert before extending her hand for help. The quiet moment between them was what she always dreamed for, but now it wasn't quite the perfect moment she always thought about.  
  
"I've been thinking." His voice sounded loud as it broke the long silence.  
  
"Nope, you're not allowed to."  
  
"Really? I think I am; you got a serious thought moment today."  
  
"Ah, but all you do is think serious thoughts. We're supposed..."  
  
"To relax?" he finished for her. "Cath, I promise; just this one serious thought for the rest of today."  
  
She stopped at a light and looked at him and smiled. "Promise?" He smiled and nodded solemnly. "Okay, I'll let you get away with it this time, but on our next day off nothing serious unless it's unavoidable."  
  
"I want to teach you and Lindsey how to sign." He waited for the words to sink in. He didn't know how she would respond to his request, but his hearing was on his mind a lot lately.  
  
"When do you want to start?"  
  
"As soon as we can would probably be best." She didn't say anything, but squeezed his hand. They didn't let go of each other until they arrived at her house. With another hour before Lindsey was due to call, he started teaching her some basics to fill the time.  
  
* * *  
  
They had signed letters and some simple phrases for part of the night after Lindsey called. Catherine had to hold the phone away from her ear after telling her that "Uncle Grissom" wanted to teach her how to sign. They both smiled at Lindsey's excitement to learn something new.  
  
Grissom woke the next morning to find that Catherine was already awake. He moved slowly into a sitting position and observed his friend and colleague.  
  
She was studiously looking at the puzzle that he didn't get to finish the day before, filling in her answers with a pencil. The light from the lamp behind the couch picked up the gold highlights of her hair.  
  
"I'm not one of your insects, Gris." Her voice startled him out of his reverie. She was still looking at the puzzle, but a smile played on her lips.  
  
"Sorry. Didn't mean to stare."  
  
"Yes, you did." She put the paper down and looked at him. "I think I need to make a place for you to stay if this keeps up."  
  
"Cath."  
  
"Sleeping on the floor isn't going to do your back any good." He opened his mouth to protest. She cut him off, "Neither will sleeping on the couch. I have a room that's serving as a storage closet. I think it's about time we turn it into something more useful."  
  
She turned and planted her feet on the floor beside him, then handed him the puzzle. "See if you can answer 54 across."  
  
He accepted the paper and watched as she headed into the kitchen. Turning his attention back to the object in his hands he listened as she started to make breakfast for them. Ten minutes later she called for him to join her at the table. His voice broke the silence that had surrounded them.  
  
"I realized something while we were out yesterday." Catherine looked at him wondering where he was going with the conversation. "We're not perfect, no one is."  
  
"Gil, I thought we already knew that."  
  
"We do, but we still look for that perfect moment. That point in time where everything is just so perfect that you don't want it to change."  
  
"But it never comes."  
  
"Yeah." He looked into the glass of orange juice thoughtfully and stabbed at what was left of his omelet.  
  
"Maybe we do find it," Catherine said after a while. He looked at her quizzically. "Maybe the perfect moments in life aren't perfect, but nearly perfect."  
  
Grissom didn't have a chance to respond. The front door opened emitting a happy nine-year-old girl. Catherine joyfully greeted her daughter in the entrance to the kitchen. Eddie seemed to have wised up today and didn't enter the house after dropping Lindsey off.  
  
The scene between mother and daughter unfolded before him. She was right; the perfect moments in life weren't perfect. The perfect moments in life were nearly perfect. As quietly as he could Gil Grissom cleaned up the remainders of the breakfast and listened in on a moment of near perfection. 


End file.
